The So-called Human Race
★4.0/5
Listen FreeFree AI audiobook with natural voice. No signup required.
About This Book
This book was converted from its physical edition to the digital format by a community of volunteers. You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.
Chapters (306)
- [p i] The So-Called Human Race
- [p iii] The So-Called Human Race
- [p v] WORLD WITHOUT END
- [p vii] Foreword
- [p xi] The So-Called Human Race
- [p 1] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- SIMPLE
- [p 2] NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
- [p 3] AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
- THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
- WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
- WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
- [p 6] THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
- HEARD IN THE BANK.
- TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
- [p 15] HOME TIES.
- THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
- THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
- O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
- [p 19] THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
- GARDENS.
- GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
- [p 25] Gilded Fairy Tales.
- (Revised and regilded for comprehension by the children of the very rich.)
- THE BABES IN THE WOOD.
- I
- [p 27] II
- III
- [p 30] LITTLE RED RIDING-HOOD.
- I
- II
- [p 33] JACK AND THE BEANSTALK.
- I
- II
- III
- [p 39] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- “FAY CE QUE VOULDRAS.”
- THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
- SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
- [p 45] BLAKE COMES BACK.
- EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
- SHE SAT APART.
- THE G. P. P.
- BEG YOUR PARDON.
- YES?
- [p 51] THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
- THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
- EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
- BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
- THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
- CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
- MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
- ACADEMY NOTES.
- TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
- Postscriptum.
- ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
- I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
- AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
- THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
- A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
- HE SHOULD.
- WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
- HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
- AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
- DOXOLOGY.
- MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
- OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
- [p 67] The Delectable River.
- I.—DOCTOR MAYHEW’S SHOP.
- II.—THE RIVER.
- III.—SMUDGE.
- IV.—“BOGWAH.”
- V.—FINE FEATHERS.
- VI.—THALASSA!
- [p 79] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- ARMS AND THE COLYUM.
- WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
- THEY’RE OFF!
- SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
- BUT APROPOS.
- SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
- THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
- “THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
- THE DICTATERS.
- THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
- THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
- BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
- SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
- THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
- FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
- THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
- [p 96] ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
- BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
- THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
- THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
- THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
- A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
- THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
- BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
- LULLABY.
- “LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
- [p 109] Alice in Cartoonland.
- I.
- II.
- III.
- IV.
- V.
- VI.
- [p 115] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- IT HAS BEEN DONE.
- “ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
- TEMPERATURE.
- [p 118] LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
- [p 119] HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
- FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
- THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
- A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
- [p 123] THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
- OPEN THE GATES!
- MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
- VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
- THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
- THE SANDS OF TIME.
- THE TRUTH AT LAST!
- THINK OF IT!
- THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
- THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
- WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
- COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
- RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
- A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
- WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
- [p 137] POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
- [p 138] “USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
- INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
- ALMOST.
- [p 139] The Witch’s Holiday.
- A TALE FOR CHILDREN ONLY.
- I.
- II.
- III.
- IV.
- V.
- VI.
- [p 153] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- “THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
- IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
- QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
- GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
- VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
- THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
- THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
- [p 160] “TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
- [p 161] A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
- HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
- HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
- UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
- A GOOD MOTTO.
- WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
- MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
- BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
- MUSIC HINT.
- [p 168] THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
- SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
- OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
- IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
- [p 174] THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
- THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
- “WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
- [p 177] The London Busman Story.
- I.—As George Meredith might have related it.
- II.—As Henry James might have written it.
- III.—As finally elucidated by Arnold Bennett.
- [p 183] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- APRILLY.
- [p 184] “SPRING HAS COME …”
- BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
- A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
- FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
- CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
- SMACK! SMACK!
- MARCH.
- LITERATURE.
- SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
- THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
- LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
- [p 195] SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
- A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
- SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
- “THAT’S GOOD.”
- WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
- [p 199] “NATION-WIDE.”
- BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
- HAPPY THOUGHT.
- [p 207] The Magic Kit.
- A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC ELDERS.
- I.
- [p 209] II.
- III.
- IV.
- [p 215] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- TO B. L. T. (Quintus Horatius Flaccus loquitur.)
- BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
- [p 217] “THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
- MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
- LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
- LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
- YEO-HEAVE-HO!
- [p 229] JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
- LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
- FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
- THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
- WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
- THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
- [p 236] OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
- INDIFFERENCE.
- [p 237] Mr. Dubbe’s Program Study Class.
- (ACCOMPANYING THE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERTS.) Reported by Miss Poeta Pants.
- I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
- II.
- III.
- IV.
- V.
- VI.
- [p 251] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- THE PASSING OF SUMMER.
- WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
- IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
- POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
- A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
- OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
- THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
- DENTAL FLOSS.
- JUST ABOUT.
- [p 259] JAW JINGLES.
- “NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
- [p 260] NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
- COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
- [p 261] FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
- AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
- THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
- THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
- A BALANCED TUITION.
- OPINION CONCURRED IN.
- TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
- THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
- [p 267] AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
- WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
- COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
- AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
- [p 269] POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
- THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
- [p 271] A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
- IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
- [p 273] Vacation Travels.
- [p 283] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- COUNTRY LIFE IN AMERICA.
- THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
- CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
- SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
- THE COME-BACK.
- THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
- TRADE CLASSICS.
- DENATURED LIMERICKS.
- MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
- THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
- YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
- ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
- THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
- HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
- [p 303] TRADE ADIEUS.
- [p 305] Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.
- BEING A FEW HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED PAGES FROM HIS JOURNAL.
- I.
- II.
- [p 309] A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
- THE BROODING DOVE.
- A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
- SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
- YES, YES.
- YE STUFF.
- [p 313] DATED.
- YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
- THE TREE TOADS.
- [p 315] THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
- LIMERIK.
- THE CHIGGER.
- A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
- ACT II., SCENE II.
- [p 321] THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
- VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
- CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
- [p 322] HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
- MORNING IN IOWA.
- AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
- YOURS, ETC.
- [p 325] HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
- [p 326] NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
- BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
- ACADEMY NOTES.
- WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
- THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
- [p 329] THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
- CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
- ANNOUNCEMENT!
How to Listen
- 1. Click "Listen Free" above
- 2. The book opens in CastReader's browser reader
- 3. Click the play button — AI narration starts with word highlighting
- 4. Use "Send to Phone" to continue listening on your phone
More by Bert Leston Taylor
FAQ
Is this audiobook really free?
Yes. "The So-called Human Race" is a public domain work from Project Gutenberg. CastReader converts it to audio using AI text-to-speech for free. No account or payment needed.
What does the AI voice sound like?
CastReader uses Kokoro TTS, a natural-sounding AI voice. It handles punctuation, names, and dialogue naturally. Most listeners forget it's AI after a few minutes.
Can I listen on my phone?
Yes. Open the book, then use "Send to Phone" to stream audio to your phone via Telegram. No app download needed.